Lust is a fog. Lust clouds the emotions; hijacks the intellect. Lust conceals and obfuscates.

Lust is, at best, a temporary reality that must be constantly refreshed (there’s nothing worse than stale lust). When lust fades, evaporates, you discover what is true. The world of lust is always short-term.

And so, as a framework for a (lustful) meditation, what better than the Book of Lies, a mendacious masterpiece with a strong erotic undercurrent which – perversely – is said to contain a set of foundational truths. Let us take Frater Perdurabo’s 91 chapters as our stepping stones and explore the various facets of luxuria.

1. Pan, the goat, the serpent: three satyrical symbols of physical lust… that business with Eve and the snake, just whose downfall was it, exactly?

2. ‘Do what thou wilt’ – a legal system that encourages fulfilment of desire – is not the whole of our law.

3. Coitus is for the many, creation for the few. If you cannot create, what can you do?

4. Bananas lust after peaches. But few acknowledge that peaches have wild urges also. Besides, at the centre of every peach is a hard stone. A fruitful metaphor.

5. Truth to falsehood, lust to innocence; if everything must finally become its opposite, what price lust that is transformed to purity of thought? A Buddhist enlightenment at the expense of the body’s pleasure, but where are you if not your body?

6. In the beginning was the Word. And the Word was with Lust. And the Word was Lust. The first bang was the biggest and all since is just some glorious afterglow.

7. If you must endure a sin while you wait, then surely lust is the most fun?

8. “A strong sexual desire. A passionate desire for something. A sensuous appetite regarded as sinful” – lust according to Oxford.

9. Desire, appetite, longing, passion, ardour, libido, sex drive, a biological urge, craving, lechery, wantonness, lasciviousness, fervour, lewdness, carnality, hunger, licentiousness, avidity, salaciousness, prurience, concupiscence, nympholepsy… a lust thesaurus.

10. Light may or may not be hidden beneath a bushel, but lust is always implicit in a bush.

11. Lust is an illusion but don’t let that stop you…

12. I and O are strong representations of traditional lust but in the end symbolise only one orientation among many…

13. …and the forbidden fruit is often the most keenly desired.

14. Any household god that decrees lust a sin of pleasure clearly does not wish us to enjoy our time at home.

15. Lust is a marvellous disguise by which we hide from ourselves – however, sooner or later, we are left facing the mirror.

16. “…the birth of individuality is ecstasy…” – the desire for pleasure is the desire for oneself.

17. In Medieval times, prostitution was an unofficial-yet-sanctioned mechanism by which male lust was contain and managed. Clearly female lust is a modern phenomenon…

18. The philosopher’s stone, the holy cup, the Golden Pill, the lost treasures of Atlantis and Egypt – the search is the search; desire is desire.

19. If camouflage is nature’s way of giving the prey a chance to evade the predator, might not the object of your desire be right under your nose?

20. The marketplace fans the fire of lust and offers you endless opportunities to slake it; all you need is money. Or you can tear down the temple.

21. Desire is androgynous, hermaphrodite, all perversions to all people – we create it in our own image.

22. When dining out, don’t upset the staff; you never know when you might find somebody’s lust in your soup.

23. Lust is a one-way street; take as many turns as you like, you can’t go back. Nor should you want to.

24. Few may speak it, but we’ve all heard of the ‘language of love’; how many know the grammar of lust?

25. Daily rituals should all be spells designed to fulfil our desires. First, spin widdershins three times…

26. Deadly sins don’t feature in the rulebook but nevertheless they have the smell of the Demiurge about them. As such, your noses should tell you the truth.

27. In all the ten thousand things, what is it you want most?

28. “Lust is a lovely word and makes love so much more interesting.” – Michael Faudet (a possibly non-existent person)

29. Rule #263: Always enact your lusts under cover of darkness. It’s much more fun that way.

30. We are all visited by incubi and succubi while we sleep; the situation only becomes troublesome if they visit while we wake.

31. If it feels right, do it. If it doesn’t, don’t. The problem is, ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ are subject to change. Try not to choke on it.

32. If you truly know what you want, you’ll never get it. Magick just doesn’t work like that. The unexpected always offers more than you hoped for.

33. Lust is inherent in all things – without desire there is no act, without action there is no forward motion, without progress we’d probably all be a lot happier; wouldn’t we?

34. Don’t obsess too greatly over the object of your lust; spare a moment to realise you may be the subject of someone else’s.

35. Did Adam lose the best part of himself when the rib was taken? How else to explain the time and effort spent chasing after it?

36. Be wary of invoking your lust in a public place; it can lead to damp upholstery and unsightly bulging.

37. All things must pass, including lust. Don’t worry, lust is like public transport: there’ll be another along in a minute… and sooner or later, everyone takes a ride.

38. If you grasp nothing else, understand this: there is no logic in lust.

39. Respect the Holy Fool, who desires what cannot be found, finds what cannot be kept, and keeps on searching.

40. To live is to want. If you want for nothing, check your pulse.

41. Remember, everything comes with Spam, the mystery meat.

42. Sex, power, fame, money… the strength of the desire is proportionate to the ensuing corruption of the self. Or to the sense of purpose you have in life. One or the other. Or both.

43. The voice of lust – that you carry so lightly in the back of your mind – demands a sacrifice for every satisfied desire.

44. Ever had a ‘dark night of the soul’ or a sojourn in the Chapel Perilous? It was a desire that pulled you through, wasn’t it?

45. Explanations are at best, superfluous, at worst, ridiculous. You can’t help what you want.

46. Lust for power is fine, so long as it’s not somebody else’s lust for power over you.

47. If you really must control it, try yoga.

48. Only when your lust is sated, is it difficult to get out of  bed in the morning.

49. Apparently the beast of babble-on had seven heads – for each one you satisfy, seven more will arise.

50. The imaginary lust of the few is the entertainment and temporary fulfilment of the many… your lust leads to a loss which is their profit.

51. Chase after your lust like a dog after a bone; but however long the chase, never be tempted to bone the dog.

52. The red-clad matador is a coward, urged on by second-hand blood lust while protected by clowns.

53. All dowsers know that when the rod twitches, it’s not always to indicate a fresh spring.

54. In a Crisis, desire is born of frustration and is often simply for a continued existence.

55. Beware of attaining your heart’s desire; it can be lost through carelessness.

56. Remember the two sides to every coin: whatever you venerate may be blasphemed.

57. If you see the Platypus, please tell it thank you for the letters, but I’m really not interested.

58. The end result of lust is often shame and sorrow – if you can work past that, then feel free to lust once more.

59. Lust may be pickled and rendered harmless by alcohol; however, insufficient medicine may have exactly the opposite effect.

60. Those scared of their own lust often seek refuge in masturbation.

61. “Sex, sex, sex, that’s all they ever think about.” – Brian’s mother (who was almost certainly not a virgin)

62. Which of your five senses determines your lust?

63. The only advantage of growing older is the wisdom to lust for what you have, rather than what you have not.

64. Any oyster tastes better with salt.

65. Without desire, without lust, ego sum nemo.

66. 1001 lusts: an exhausting series of bedtime stories.

67. The forbidden fruit is always more expensive than the permitted – if you are feeling particularly lustful, it is best to cultivate a good relationship with your bank manager.

68. Remember your childhood lusts? Chocolate cake and meringues? Have you have since felt anything quite so intensely?

69. Some are scared of it. Many are simply unable to perform correctly. It’s easy – we live in a multitasking age – just remember to go down slow.

70. Go on, kiss the ring.

71. Were you ever abstemious? That’s probably why you feel your lust so strongly now.

72. If your lusts leave you tense or stressed, may we respectfully prescribe either meditation, mint tea, or a Camberwell Carrot.

73. If you become obsessed with the camel’s toe, it is past time to disconnect from the internet.

74. These days, if you find yourself on Queer Street, it doesn’t mean what it once did.

75. To have just one lust your whole life suggests a dullness of imagination. Remember, variety is the spice of strife.

76. Whatever your lustful philosophy, heaven and earth together contain far more than its dreams.

77. Who or what is your magic number? And does she have dark hair?

78. If the Wheel of Lust were to stop spinning, would the world end?

79. Bear in mind that the indulgence of desire is usually forbidden by those who have not enjoyed it.

80. By all means, listen to your critics; but do not let them choose your wishes for you.

81. Beware the cocoa bean. There are few crimes that have not been committed for chocolate.

82. Are you happy? If so, you cannot regret a single step on the path that has led you here.

83. Even if you succeed in teaching the pig to sing, you’ve undoubtedly wasted your time.

84. Besides, your karma will take care of you. Worry not about justice, it is right before you.

85. All lust is dis-ease and the health of those around you is not to be trusted.

86. Lust is a primordial trait of humankind, part of our DNA, and yet it has an evil and sinful reputation. Try calling it ‘excessive love’. It doesn’t sound quite so bad, does it?

87. The tastiest, most satisfying meal is served hot and has almost no calories.

88. Other people’s lusts are no good; you have to devise your own.

89. If you expect wisdom herein, your hope must by now be running dry.

90. “If they substituted the word ‘Lust’ for ‘Love’ in the popular songs it would come nearer the truth.” – Sylvia Plath (no introduction needed)

91. ?